i am typing with russian accent

how the hell did you force me to read that with a russian accent

(via through-war-and-at-peace)

11 hours ago
208,670 notes


long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about

(Source: flapwagon, via pizza)

11 hours ago
161,019 notes


being popular on tumblr is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria of a mental hospital

(via sniffing)

11 hours ago
485,214 notes



I manage to turn everything into crap wow

yes that’s called digestion

(Source: foodtrucker, via sniffing)

11 hours ago
267,579 notes



when did potatoes learn how to run


(Source: onlylolgifs)

11 hours ago
405,016 notes